"Did Dahmer eat?"
-Chris S. 2016

He is a botched clone of PaulsEgo. Also because he has such a strong resemblance to PaulsEgo you can guess that he has the greatest Brett Keane impersonation ever.


He is a racist piece of shit, and an alcoholic would beat his fucking wife if he wasn't so fucking fat. You know he is in the room by the sound of his weighted breathing. We once gave him some cheetos, but he dropped them. He then proceeded to suck up the cheetos off his belly. He tends to fall over a lot like those old women in the Life Alert commercials. The sad thing is no one can help him back up. He is currently employed part time as a steamroller, the only job he can actually hold.


  • PFC=Piece of Fucking Shit
  • Has some sweet tits.
  • I have duckumentation that Christopher molests children.
  • Not only does Christopher S look like Paulsego, but he also bares a passing resemblance to professional wrestler Kevin Owens.
  • He is actually friends with Paulsego, presumably because Paul is grooming him to replace him one day.
  • Chris also shares Paul's ability to tell a story and impersonate Brett Keane quite well ( seriously. )
  • According to Pimpmunk, Christopher looks like an UGG boot fucked a flip-flop.
  • An encyclopedia of bad pornography.
  • Christopher is gynosexual, meaning he only fucks gynaecologists.
  • His last name is Schneider
  • He is wanted in all 50 states for sex trafficking of minors
  • He is forcing Pimp to go to the DP meetup at gunpoint
  • He wants to have a 5-way with 4 underage girls
  • His alcoholism is so severe that scientists have had to devise a 10 stage system to classify his levels of intoxication
  • He has Stage VI terminal Faggotry, meaning he is one step away from becoming a rainbow unicorn that shits rainbows and glitter
  • He was friend-zoned by his own butthole
  • He thinks that Jaclyn Glenn is worse than Charles Manson.
  • He sometimes has daydreams of being a genius.
  • He has effectively removed the word "friend" from his vocabulary, replacing it instead with the informal "fwend".
  • He pisses oatmeal
  • He has fucked a bus.
  • He is Pimpmunk's naughty little secretary. Much coffee is brought and dick sucked.
  • Is an advocate for people stepping outside of their buttholes.
  • He is a proven weed thief!
  • He bleeds for the seed.


  • "I will eat your pussy like Mac n Cheese!"
  • "If you can march through mud you can fuck through blood."
  • "The power of ice cream Christ compells you."
  • "Did Dahmer eat?"
  • "I eat lizards with my fucking titties."
  • "Slut is a nice word."
  • "I am the living hat."
  • "What came out of my ass .. it sounded like a demon!"
  • "When HoBurger is 40 he'll set off a few Amber Alerts."
  • "You know what today's flavor of ice cream is?... Rape"
  • "What if I came money? Would I be a cash cow?"
  • "I got a sock upstairs worth like a million dollars."
  • "I've produced my bodyweight in sperm this year alone."
  • "I don't wanna fuck a bus, I have fucked a bus."
  • "There wont be enough pillow left to bite when I go in."— Christopher's rape crote
  • "You sell furniture you're Sofa King Retarded"
  • "Cleveland is cheap because you get stabbed when you get off the fucking plane!"— Christopher's travel advisory crote
  • "You gotta be Juggernaut in the streets, but Charles Xavier in the sheets."— Christoper explaining to Larry about their bodyguard/bedroom situashun
  • "I don't know if sticking my dick in frogs is the right thing to do."
  • "I have foot herps."— Christopher describing how his obssesive foot fetish has turned upside down for him.
  • "...unless you have a peanut allergy, THEN FUCK YOU!"
  • "I mean, Gary, Indiana is like, it's Indiana's Michigan."— Christopher on Gary, Indiana
  • "Fuck colesteral problems; I have Bacon problems!"
  • "They can call me whatever I want... but I am!" - Christopher revealing the weed controversy with Pimp was K-fabe
  • "Vap lives mater."
  • "I worked for the government for 4 years, of course I know what ass tastes like!"
  • "Man, FUCK that mom!" - Christopher's remarks on a story Larry told.
  • " know, sometimes you gotta fuck the horse."
  • "By sneaking a fart I accidentally, like, ripped a fuckin', I ripped the time space continuum, not just my ass."— Christopher on when he was sleeping in bed with Shayrah and tried to sneak a fart
  • "The porn's addicted to me. Fuck you."
  • "Well I'm not bored, I've just got my nuts in my hand."— Christopher when kaveman said he seemed bored on a stream one day
  • "Well then it wasn't rape."— Christopher disqualifying Ethan's "rape" because he had a sore throat while doing it
  • "You know what? Cute things are awesome when they rape things."
  • "I'm a shit nazi."


List of Appearance(s)